The ugly truth behind borderline personality disorder.

BPD. Borderline personality disorder. For those of you that aren't familiar with the term it is a mental illness, which causes the inability to process and manage emotions effectively . In other words you are an emotional mess 24/7. Sounds fun right? For many of those suffering with BPD it remains a concealed aspect of their lives. Mainly because people simply do not understand it.

Now imagine constantly feeling on edge, being enclosed by a constant worry and paranoia because of never knowing how you will react to things. Your whole life being dependent on impulse decisions. It is a constant fear of not knowing what can and will set you off. People suffering with BPD aren't bad people, sometimes they just simply do not have the ability or control to make the right decision.

Suffering with BPD consists of knowing what is right, but always doing the wrong. It is almost as if all the emotions we feel in that exact moment, inhabit our body and dominate our minds and bodies.

On average only around 1.7% of people worldwide suffer with BPD, however, out of that 75% attempt suicide. The term used to describe the disorder, ‘borderline’ is based on the idea that those who are diagnosed are often on the ‘border’ of being diagnosed with other mental health issues, they often suffer from various forms of depression and psychosis. This simply results in making the treatment process a ton of work. Suicide rates are sky high amongst those unfortunate enough to be diagnosed with BPD. However, what can you expect when there is a clear absence for knowledge regarding the treatment and general diagnosis of the disorder. 

To be perfectly honest BPD as a whole is one big irony. You long for attachment and stable relationships, yet everything you say, do or think results in total alienation. It is a feeling of entrapment in the deepest corner of your mind, where you simply observe as you self destruct. 

From personal experience with BPD I know how great of a burden the constant instability can bring onto everyday life. Relationships become painful, as with every ‘no’ you hear or every bit of distance you experience, translates into rejection and jealousy. You begin to go to extreme lengths to evoke emotion from your partner, whether that be anger, sympathy or love. You just need that little reminder that they care, but you’re blind and oblivious to the pain you’re causing to them. You become selfish.

The disorder has miscellaneous symptoms, from alcohol and drug misuse to having a distorted sense of one self. Not to mention the constant mood swings, impulsive and intense behaviour, hostility and the inability to evoke empathy towards others. The sad part is that majority of those suffering experience most of these symptoms constantly throughout adulthood. 

To sum up BPD, I think it is fair to say, that BPD remains in the unknown for the large majority of us. Its origin is unclear, and so is the effective way to treat it. The only smidge of hope that exists for those suffering is that over time they will become adapted to the condition. So I say how about we as a society cut them some slack.