Hidden Good

There are times where I sit still, glaring at the walls around me and I think.

I think about how truly dissatisfied I am with this planet,

I think about how everybody around me is convinced their shit don’t stink,

My mind diving from one cynical thought to the next,

And as I sit and observe all the nausea we as humans have to offer,

I think.

I’m not happy, I’m so far beyond all the world’s promises.

I get overwhelmed with realisation, realisation of the fact that,

Death and pain is all that this world promises.

As my thoughts compete against my conscience, 

I remember how beautiful it was once.

Now I am steered by disgust for the present and longing for the past, 

My next thought is I want to end it. And fast.

To many it’s insanity or a cry for attention,

And many times my suicide attempts were that,

But this time I saw it as ascension.

I saw the evil on earth, 

The hatred you’re exposed to from birth.

I say to myself its better to be dead than here, 

                             But as I do, you overhear.                                     

And you stop me, despite how much I scream and shout and protest,

You stop me. And in that moment I see the some good in world,

A little flicker of hope. That people do care and our hearts aren’t cold.

I think about why all I have seen is misery, and I realise life is what I manifest.